Albanians call their country Shqipëri. Hm. It's pronounced sh-chi-PREE if you're wondering.

In history there were there were two places called Albania, much to the chagrin of historians. One is in the present state of the Republic of Albania, the other is the historical Caucasian Albania, in the Caucasus Mountains.

Speaking of Caucasus, there are 3 countries today that incorporate them: Georgia, Armenia and Azerbaijan. Direct your attention to Georgia. There is a country called Georgia, not just the US state. Meanwhile, it's strange that Air Georgia is an airline of Georgia, but Georgian Air is a Canadian airline. Wonder what's that all aboot, eh?

Speaking of boots, boots are like shoes, but with longer sides. Hmmmmmm. But what about safety boots?

And are laces of safety boots bootlaces? Is it fair to call a boot wearing pirate Bootleg? Arrrr.

The longest animal was previously thought to be the Lion's Mane Jellyfish. But we were wrong. In fact, the longest animal in the world is indeed the Bootlace worm, a mind bogglingly long worm that can measure up to 60 metres. They should make a gummy worm that length. That'll take forever to finish.

Gummy bears are something quite interesting. You can also make gummy bear flavoured juice. How does that work out? It's liquid gum. Or bear shaped juice. OR BEAR FLAVOURED JUICE.

Mmmm

So here are ten things pertaining to Albania that you may do:

1. Say Shqipëri
2. Draw its flag
3. Sing the national anthem
4. Actually go there
5. Since Voldemort went there in hiding, write "Voldemort was here!" on the walls of Tirana and Pukë
6. Discover that there is a city called Pukë
7. Speak some Albanian
8. Marry an Albanian
9. Translate this post in Albanian
10. Do an Albanian (Thanks to a good friend of mine for the suggestion)

Here are 10 things you may not do:

1. Confuse it with Armenia
2. Make actual bear juice.
3. Dig a tunnel from your house to Albania
4. Indulge in blood feuds
5. Old Albanians (Again thanks to a good friend)
6. Do cartwheels on Lake Ohrid
7. Puke on the streets of Pukë
8. Stick a fork in an Albanian
9. Insist that the moon is made in Albania
10. Sail to Italy from Albania on a boat made of only bus tickets. Unless you're McGyver.

ALBANIA YAY! Wish I've gone there before.

 Whoa. Resonance

Rhymes with consonance. Quite delicious. Nothing fabulous. Let's have sausages. Mmmmm.

Sausages (also known as the stuff in hotdogs) are known to some as Frankfurters. But do Frankfurters really come from Frankfurt? That's up to you to find out! Not to be distracted, Frankfurt is Old German for "Ford of the Franks". A ford is a part of the river where it is shallow enough to cross by wading over, and the Franks are a Germanic tribe who are ancestors of modern French people. 

Generally French people speak French. Maybe it's because French is their mother tongue. Something for you and I to think about.
Hmmmmmm. Have you tried French cheese? Taste like chicken, if you have the right mindset. Otherwise, I think it tastes just like French cheese. French cheese flavoured French cheese. Mmmmm.

By the way, there are little minuscule organisms living in cheese. They're like little lice I expect. Nothing like crab lice though. They cling on to the pubes, those nasty little buggers. Bugger them buggers for being so buggerish.

I just realised bugger looks like burger. Mmmmm.

Coming back to resonance, here are 10 fun things you can do with resonance.

1. Say resonance slowly and suggestfully. "Resonaaance"
2. Look at a clock.
3. Insist that your guitar is haunted when you pluck a certain note and the free string vibrates.
4. Create a 'Resonance Appreciation Day'. Make sure it's a holiday!
5. Dedicate a song for resonance on the dedication hour on radio.
6. Imitate what the person next to you is doing, and blame it on the "equal frequencies"
7. Spell resonance with a 'c'
8. Write about resonance on a blog
9. Write a college/university level textbook on the subject of resonance
10. Rhyme resonance with consonance and put it in a song

10 things you don't do with resonance are:

1. Say resonance really fast. All the listener would hear is "rznans"
2. Look at the clock and insist that the hour hand is moving by resonance
3. Insist that when the free string vibrates by itself, "there has to be some logical explanation" 
4. Create a 'Rexona Application Day' and declare THAT a holiday
5. Dedicate a song for resonance during the news hour on radio.
6. Imitate what the person next to you is doing, and say that "it's just for fun"
7. Spell resonance with a 'q'
8. Write about resonance on your friend's wall on Facebook
9. Write a college/university level textbook on the subject of the nonsense in resonance.
10. Rhyme resonance with omelette. Don't even bother writing it down.

Oh, before I end off, Happy New Year! I hope that the next year will be great so that it would be constituted as the best 2 consecutive years of my life!




 

 Will kill you, according to Jamie Oliver. What's wrong with chicken nuggets, they're so YUMMEH.

Anyway, you may notice that chicken nuggets are like nuggets of chicken. Gold nuggets are like nuggets of gold. Yum. I want a gold nugget now.

Speaking of gold, did you know that gold is a yellowish brown metal that doesn't taste like chocolate, or chicken, for that matter. And any object is considered to be matter if it has mass and volume. For example, chicken nuggets are matter. Laptops are matter too. But rainbows are NOT. No matter what they say. Not even double rainbows. No. Nuh-uh.

Rainbows are not like chicken nuggets. While chicken nuggets are nuggets of chicken, rainbows are not bows of rain. Bows of rain would be creepy. Very creepy indeed. Creepy rainbow is creepy.

However, it must be duly pointed out that not all rainbows are like lampshades. You may never know, you may meet a lampshade-like rainbow in future. But remember this: Even lampshade-like rainbows are not matter. 

Speaking of lampshades, you may recall that in my previous posts that I mentioned about lamps. In case you were wondering, lampshades do have a place on lamps. Wheeeeee.

Back to the topic of chicken nuggets, here are 10 things you can do with chicken nuggets

1. Eat one
2. Cook one
3. Throw one at a friend
4. Write a song about one
5. Swallow one whole
6. Step on one
7. Flush one down a toilet bowl
8. Sleep with one
9. Read a book to one
10. Have one as a dance partner

10 things you don't do with a chicken nugget

1. Get married to one
2. Lick your elbow with one
3. Make nail polish out of one
4. Make lemonade with one
5. Place coca-cola in one
6. Spell snuggets without spelling nugget
7. Turn one into gold
8. Film a video with a nugget
9. Sing with one in your mouth (it's frowned upon in society)
10. Colour your hair blue.

YAY NOOGETS


 


 

Clocks have difficult lives. Here are ten things that show you why.

They have faces, but no eyes. OMG how do they cope?

They have hands, but no fingers. OMG how do they cope?

They have grandfathers but no grandmothers. OMG How do they cope?

They have no ability to ingest apples. OMG How do they cope?

They cannot get the mail. OMG How do they cope?

They have no ability to be able to speak Quechua. OMG How do they cope?

They don't drink chocolate milk. OMG How do they cope?

They don't have a support group for ticking addiction. OMG How do they cope?

Finally,

They stay in the same place for prolonged periods of time. OMG How do they cope?

Appreciate your clocks!

 Forks are spoons with major deformities. Spoons with slight deformities are called sporks, an ingenious amalgamation of the word "spoon" and "fork". Does that not make you gasp in wonder? Meanwhile Spock treks on a star. But wait! Is the sun not a star? Oh no! He's trekking on the sun!

RIP Spock

Anyway forks are one of the things you can take from a restaurant. Of course, to compliment that fork you might as well take the knife, spoon, table, lamps and of course the flower on the table. I mean, that $20 salad has to pay off somehow right? But a word of advice: NEVER take the tablecloths. Nothing says cheapskate more than a stolen tablecloth.

Speaking of cheapskate, I often misread Chesapeake as cheapskate. Am I liable to be blamed? Then again, the word fork sound like frog which sounds like prog rock.

Progressive rock. Hm. With lyrics that go "wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" and actually makes sense, I salute prog rock as one of the more dynamic genres that man has ever come up with. Other genres that go with this, in my opinion, are Kabuki theatre and German Pop music. Really. 

OK Let's go to our 10 things section.

DO

1. Use a fork to eat broccoli
2. Compliment the use of the aforementioned fork with a knife
3. Use a fork to poke people
4. Compliment the use of the aforementioned fork with a knife
5. Use a fork to dig a hole
6. Compliment the use of the aforementioned fork with a knife
7. Use a fork to tune a piano
8. Compliment the use of the aforementioned fork with a knife
9. Use a fork to eat spaghetti
10.Compliment the use of the aforementioned fork with a knife

DON'T

1. Use a fork to kill people
2. Compliment the use of the aforementioned fork with a knife
3. Matchmake one to a carrot
4. Compliment the use of the aforementioned fork with a knife
5. Use a fork to write your autobiography.
6. Compliment the use of the aforementioned fork with a knife
7. Use a fork to peel an egg.
8. Compliment the use of the aforementioned fork with a knife
9. Use a fork to steal a tablecloth
10.Compliment the use of the aforementioned fork with a knife

Forky porky locky docky doggy noggy shoggy vocky.

 Lamps are interestingly interesting. They are like little glass bottles filled with light. Hm.

Speaking of glass bottles, did you know they start out as thin glass strips, then air is blown into these strips and they expand out to the bottlish-shape? OMG How cool is that? As cool as a cucumber, perhaps.

Cucumbers can prove to be confusing when accompanied with a spicy dip. Try deciding between cool or hot once everything's a garbled mash in your mouth. Chances are, you'll get a seizure trying to figure it out, so don't so you haven't been warned! I mean lol. Seizures and spicy cucumbers normally signal to a day that may not be to your favour, so straighten up and do something nice for a change. Might help your karma. 

Anyway, lamps can be a fun name to make fun of. Like Lampwick from Pinocchio. Then again, the poor boy turned into a donkey. Hm.

As usual, do try saying lamps over and over again and at fast speeds. It will sound like Plam. Try it. Now. Yes.

Try it. Now.

Like now.

Lamplamplamplamplamplamplamplamplamplamplamplamplamplamplamplamplamplamplamplamplamp

Anyway, here are 10 things you can do with lamps.
1. Turn one on.
2. Turn one off.
3. Decorate one with a lampshade
4. Take one from the hotel, together with the mints and shampoos
5. Summon a genie
6. Be quiet about it. Experience the Silence of the Lamp.
7. Catch moths
8. Play God and say "Let there be light!". Then turn one on.
9. Make one out of fireflies
10. Smash one.

10 things that are frowned upon concerning lamps.
1. Make lemonade out of the lamp juice.
2. Cook mashed lamps in hopes that lamp is the substitute for potato
3. Yodel about lamps.
4. Cast one to be the countess in Riverdance
5. Pimp a lamp.
6. Ride on one.
7. Vote one as president.
8. Wash the insides with soap and shampoo.
9. Brush its teeth
10. Spit out one.

LAMP. 

 Green is a colour that is said to be the most pleasing to the eye. Do you think so?

The Mongolian word for green is ногоон. Although it is tempting to pronounce it as horooh, it is actually pronounced "no-QONG". That's because it is written with the Cyrillic alphabet.

The Cyrillic alphabet is used to write a huge number of languages, and is the second most used script in the world after the Latin alphabet, in terms of use by number of languages. Although some call it the Russian alphabet, this is a misnomer because the alphabet was invented in Bulgaria.

Bulgaria is a country in the Balkans, and the national language, incidentally, is Bulgarian. It's flag has three colours: red, white and green (not in order of appearance though). So this brings us back to the colour green.

Does one really turn green when he/she is sick? Sick can be green, so does this mean that sick travels in the bloodstream? Something to think about there. So bear in mind, that if you need to chuck out buckets, there are more things in you to be sick about.

When one says green, nature comes to mind. Is that really fair? When we talk about the nature of the sea, let's face it, green water is not a very good thing to look at. Maybe if we're looking at green tea, it's a different thing altogether. Green tea is interesting because it's green. Like the tea leaves. And it's green. Hm.

So here are 10 things you can do related to greenness. 
1. Love it
2. Hate it
3. Become a fan of it on Facebook.
4. Tweet about it
5. Paint a picture with only green in it
6. Plant a tree
7. Say green really really fast so that you sound like an alarm
8. Boast to your friends that you know what's the Mongolian word for green
9. Be a leprechaun
10. Make salad

10 things you don't do with green
1. Marry the colour
2. Speak the colour
3. Cut the colour
4. Conquer the Caspian Sea
5. Direct a movie about the colour
6. Put it on the flag of France
7. Take it out of the flag of Libya
8. Paint your spleen green
9. Spell 9 as "g-r-e-e-n"
10. Paint roast beef green

The green spleen sings Maureen on the lean bean's fin.

 Did you know that camera refers to a chamber in Italian? So don't be disappointed if you listened to a sonata de camera and it didn't accompany itself with excessive clicking noises. If you do though, do send your recording back to the store.

The other type of sonata is the sonata da chiesa. (No, it doesn't mean cheesy sonata)

Cameras are interesting. They capture memories physically. Our brains can do that too, only with cameras we got a bit too lazy. Then again, this is called Progress. 

In some cultures, as of cultures in Papua New Guinea, taking a picture is like stealing a soul. Hm. With over 2000 pictures tagged on Facebook, I have a friend who's practically a zombie. This may actually explain why we live longer. We just die earlier and the imprint of our body lives on. 

A polaroid is like a camera. Well, maybe because it IS one, but funny how all cameras are not polaroids. Did that just burst your brain, because I know mine did. Like a bajillion cannonballs.

By the way, a cannonball tree is a tree which looks like it has cannonballs strapped to its sides. Guess it can never go past the customs at the airport. But is that alright now, that one flies like a cannonball? And a cannon is not to be confused with a canon. A canon is something that Pachelbel wrote, which would have earned him a lot of money today. If only royalties work out then.

Speaking of royalty, a kingdom is a state run by a king/queen, an empire is a state run by an emperor/empress, a duchy is a state run by the grand duke/duchess, a principality is a state run by the crown prince/princess, an emirate (Fly Emirates) is a state run by an emir/amirah, and a sultanate is run by a sultan/sultana. 

Sultanas are also like raisins. I mean the snack/topping. Not the sultan's wife.

Anyway here are ten things you can do with a camera.
1. Take a picture (Like duhhhhh)
2. Make art
3. Smash one
4. Record videos
5. Pretend to be one
6. Print pictures (though for polaroids only)
7. Polish one
8. Paint one
9. Encase one and declare it an artifact
10. Take one declared as an artifact out and make it your latest hobby.

Ten things that you don't do with a camera
1. Make chocolate rice
2. Train guppies
3. Use one as filling for apple pie
4. Eat one
5. Drink one
6. Use it as crockery
7. Make phone calls (camera phones are an exception, though it would be amusing to see phone cameras in future)
8. Have children with one.
9. Use it as a dance partner
10. Use it as transportation.

Cameras have the ability to make one go hm.

The German word for "left" is, coincidentally, links.

I shall be away for two days, so no time for the Interwebz. Meanwhile, you'll do me a gigantic favour just by being here. Go listen to my music while you're at it ok?

If you don't mind being bored brainless by my journey around the world, my travel blog can be found here. You'll do me a huge favour if you listen to the music that you are forced to listen to there (I'm sure you'll love it). If you don't, well, just mute the player but please please please ple-hease don't just pause it straight away.

Links are interesting, like tunnels. They link you to stuff, thus the name.

That makes the word link both a noun and a verb. Is that not mind blowing? Speaking of blowing, it has a sexual connotation together with a more innocent meaning where it involves movement of air (did you know moving air is called wind?). Another interesting fact is that the German word for wind is Wind. 

BTW You'll do me a huge favour if you visit my ReverbNation page here. Do become a fan by leaving your email address in there. I might even hug you, provided I have the mood.

Back to the subject of links, it can sound like clink if you say link really really fast. Try it now. Yes, now.

I mean it. Try it now.

Linklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklink

Yep. As entertaining as discovering that Juliet Capulet had gotten married, had sex and died when she was my age.

Here are 10 things you can do with a link.
1. Click on it. There are many links here, so you can make my day by doing that.
2. Make one.
3. Tweet about one.
4. Put it on Facebook.
5. RickRoll someone.
6. Get photos
7. Plant viruses. This is, however, frowned upon modern society.
8. Download viruses.  
9. Advertise and make money.
10. Discover that the German word for left is links.

10 things you don't do with a link
1. Bake a cake/pie.
2. Grow a potato
3. Sleep on one
4. Drink one
5. Use Fourier Analysis to determine the series of harmonics within a wave that is travelling in time
6. Polish glass
7. Write this blog.
8. Drive a car.
9. Make tea
10. Win the Eurovision Song Contest. Ok maybe this is possible, but the best ones (except for this year) always lose anyway.

Linklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinkwww.reverbnation.com/szujdzsenerisz

Running is strange. It doesn't mean what it is. Like a running nose doesn't run. For those who say it refers to the mucus, admit it, it isn't running, but it's oozing. Speaking of oozing, oozing is cool because it has repeating letters at the start of the word. Oozing is in the 'cool' list along with aardvark and Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. In fact, Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch is cooler because it has four l's in succession.

Back to the subject of running, running late is a controversy in itself. If you were late, you'd be sauntering I presume. Maybe one ran to be late because he dislikes the prospects of paying for the bus fare. 

LOL By the way, the sentence "How does the fair bus fare fare?" makes you wonder what "fare" really means. If the answer is "The fares to the fair are fairly fair" your brain just explodes into a billion oranges and you'll be the next Tchaikovsky, trying to kill himself by wading in a cold river. Yeah sure.

Tchaikovsky is so gay he wrote "The Nutcracker". I have nothing against them though, it's just that I think Tchaikovsky is a bad example of one.

Speaking of nuts, have you ever wondered why Macadamia never come in their shells? It's because it's very difficult indeed to take the shell out yourself without pulverising the poor nut inside. It's like getting crushed inside a rubber room. 

Back to running, here are 10 things you can do while running:
1. Listen to music
2. Watch people
3. Run faster than the guy next to you (unless he/she is from East Africa)
4. Eat an orange
5. Cross country running (However, cross country running in Vatican City doesn't count; it's only 400 meters)
6. Run for your life
7. Make someone run for their lives
8. Twitter
9. Run with all passion and emotion. A bit of fake tears will help.
10. Hum the theme to "Chariots of Fire"

Ten things you don't do while running:
1. Propose to a potato
2. Facebook. Twitter is ok.
3. Lick your elbow
4. Grow a daisy
5. Do sit-ups
6. Sleep
7. Grow another head
8. Ask for a grape at a lemonade stand
9. Get married to the potato, if you didn't listen to me when I said don't even propose.
10. Donate bone marrow

So have you done your running today?